The Slow and the Stopped

As a bridge tournament director one of my duties is to keep the game moving. Sometimes one can pick up the 3 boards before the slow players realize they have only played 2 of the 3 boards. In this case one keeps going and nobody is any the wiser except me. Some players will call me and request an average if they are behind. Some  players who are caught slow just accept it and take an average.

However I have 3 examples

1. I approached a player last month who had been half of North South at say table A4 in a 3 sections competiton and indicated to her that it was great that her table had finally completed the boards.

She was very happy to point out to me that all the slow players in the room were in her section and they were all moving as East West and she had to play against them all. No mention of 20 seconds pause before every card played by her side.... Nope it was all the fault of the moving pairs who were dreadfully slow in her view.

2. One night I spotted a slow declarer starting to play a 4S contract and the table was already slow.

I asked them to speed up and went over to the computer which had www.bridge-now.com on the screen. I managed to bid and play 3 full hands while this lady (a different lady than Item 1) played the 13 tricks or made a claim

So 3 hands played in the 4 minutes ..Does not often happen due to internet lags in that club as the computer is connected to the net by an extender thing. However it shows the speed of play.

3. Last month another pair indicated with anger "WERE NOT SLOW .." I pointed out they had travelled through tables 6 7 and 8 all who were in the last 3 tables finishing each round .. so they
were not fast. 28 tables in play and no gain made on time. So must be slow.

4. Everytime I indicate a slow table they look around to check how next door tables are doing ..
"They  are still playing .." they pipe up ... I say .. Yeah that's true they are on 2nd board of the next round .. or they are on last 3 cards of the equivalent board to the one you are playing ..

5. Its never the slow players fault .. some of them are just permanently in 1st gear .. always travelling up hill

6. In another club where I direct there are two slow players .. Fergal and Tommy ... Now these two
lads just think slow and then when the thinking is done the fingers slowly pick out the calculated card and place it slowly on the table ...Then they repeat all the same for the next 12 tricks

7. Then we have the 1.5 minute dummy putter downer... This man or woman will place each card down in dummy individually and give each card a little pat as it goes on the table.. and maybe look for a little encouragement from partner for a large honor card.

8. And we have not got near a POST MORTEM yet ..